This week sucks. It’s the last week before finals and it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning because it’s cold & wet outside and I just wanna snooze. Falling asleep is way easier than waking up. If I could fall to sleep every night and then, somehow, find myself fully awake and pumpt up the next day that would be great—just altogether circumvent the whole process of waking up and getting your blood flowing and your head clear. You’d already be awake and fed and brighteyed, in an instant. No more horrendous panic-stricken moments between sleep & wakefulness, mourning your quickly fading dreams in that cranky light—
Monday, after my last lesson with Dr Filip for the semester, and after Theory, I ditched Sociology and drove down to Malvern to pay off the bank. The lady there was nice and understanding and took away the overdraft charges so all I had to pay back was the amount I overdrew. (Well actually I got a notice today saying I had been charged even more, along with a cashier’s check of $32.44 from the $125 so actually I had to pay some fees. Oh well.) Then I sat around the parsonage waiting to get a call from Jordan & Jeremiah, who were searching for weed. They cald about 2:30 and I drove up to meet them at Café Coco. We finally found some kind bud in Katie’s apartment building, then continued north to Echo Hollow to play music and get fuckt up. Jon & Ceejay had a jar of moonshine. Monday night was fun, but nothing exciting really happend.
Except once I got back to Killebrew I was stoned & trying to figure out this book I read last year as a senior, The Whistling Song by Stephen Beachy, artwork by Curt Kirkwood of the Meat Puppets. On the second page I noticed this term “mysterium tremendum.” I lookt it up online & read about Rudolf Otto & The Idea of the Holy, and of the “numinous,” a word I’ve heard my dad use in sermons but never really known what it means until now. So Tuesday I checkt out that book from the library and I think it’s going to help with my writing. Plus May’s read it, and when I was telling her everything she said “Wow Jude Moss you’re a lot.” I’m glad she thinks so; can’t wait till she gets here.