Thursday I drug myself thru the day. We were suppost to be playing Hair of the Dog as a kind of debut for friends & Jeremiah was going to leave a message on AIM letting me know whether it was happening. I woke up and he had left no message, so I cald him to make sure. He said we were still on; I went to eat & then to pick up my amp; then we met at Café Coco, talkt with Big Gay Shane & admired the “crazy bitch” (his words) with the nose ring who works there.
When we got to the venue we found out all the other bands had canceld. H’ville Chris, Jon, and Chris’s brother Brandon showed up; so did Emily, so did Asher. Of course we started drinking beer as it always happens at that place. Once on stage & plugged in, Jeremiah’s (actually Katie’s) guitar wouldn’t make a sound. He smashed the fuck out of it & went home. I suppose we weren’t quite ready. Wild ’n’ tipsy, Ash & I threw some chairs around, banged on Ceejay’s drums… Ceej was discussing something or other with the even drunker sound guy… supposedly he said if we got everything packt up in 10 minutes he would give us “a quarter of weed.” I didn’t believe it but I figured we’d at least get a bowl or two. Dude told us to follow him to his house over in East Nash but then drove so goddamn fast he was impossible to follow. I was able to keep up with him till Gallatin Road, then lost him. (Ceejay was riding with Jon, who got caught at the first stoplight we hit.) What a disaster of a night. I was so pist I just drove back to campus & screamed with the loud music. Thankfully Maybel was online.
I have written a lot this weekend—not just words; music too. I’ve stayed in my room while it’s chilly & rainy & grey outside, with both the television and the computer on, and either my desk lamp or my reading light on, chugging away at “Salix” and a few other songs.
I’ve also speculated a great deal about what 2006 will be like. Is May really going to move out here? What kind of relationship will we form? We will be close, no doubt, but will a romance develop? Affectionate companionship perhaps? When I think about being with her it’s a desire to lay down with her & just be close, nothing particularly sexual comes to mind. In other words I want to sleep with her in the literal sense. Hook my arm around her, all that sappy shit. Get stoned, whisper things. Walk around, go for a drive. I can play songs for her, she can read words to me, we’ll formulate theories that connect the two. And what about Grant? She’ll have to take care of him for the next 17 years. Forgive me for considering stuff in such a long-term perspective but, if this turns serious, will he and I get along? Be able to relate? Will I be any kind of role model? It’s foolish for me to be thinking all of this but it’s what keeps me awake.