Ah, shit—it’s midnight & I thought I’d be able to continue waxing poetic about JF, but my mind is distracted: there was a shooting at a high school over in Campbell County today—well, yesterday, now. The perp was a student, but the victims were administrators, principals: one dead & two wounded. Will cald me to ask about Columbine, which he’d not heard of—again. He’d started spiralling on Wikipedia reading about all the school shootings since then, and earlier ones too. The worst one before Columbine took place just one year prior, at a middle school in Jonesboro on the far shore of Lake Arkansaw. He’s in the sixth grade, so he’s worried. “What if it keeps getting worse and worse? first high schools, then middle schools—like what if someone shoots up an elementary school next? Little kids?” He cald me on the landline about 9pm, right after I got back from Tuesday night recital (Godwin–Thompson Guitar Duo). His voice sounded pretty calm, but I could tell he was troubled by what he’d read. I had to tell him I didn’t think it was very likely. Who would even do that? Another child? “No, some grown-up psycho,” he said.
My stomach hurt all day, until I took a nap before ensemble. Cough syrup is rough, man—on the stomach, on the mind. No weed since Sunday either.
I feel disinterested in the world around me, a certain sense of apathy.
I can’t even make myself care enough to elaborate on that.