No more clogged sinuses, lmao.
Friday: Got up & went to class, then workt in the afternoon to help set up for the Halloween concert that the Percussion Ensemble puts on every year, wherein we deck our concert hall with all sorts of spooky stuff: cobwebs, skeletons, witches awash in orange & green—Then Ceejay cald, and invited me down to Echo Hollow to smoke some weed he didn’t have yet. We cald a bunch of people; ended up going to Hendersonville Chris’s place, which is actually in Gallatin & shared with roommate Jon. Chris was at work, but Jon was cool & cald a bunch of people; ended up eventually finding some back in H’ville. Got a pizza from the Pizza Hut on Nashville Pike where they both work & we drove around town eating.
Saturday, repeat. I had to go pick up Ceejay someplace on New Shackle Island—a strange name for a road. We then hung around his friend Ryan’s (mom’s) house, which is two houses up from Jeremiah’s on their dead-end street, a single hollow (Echo) nestled among many hills & hollers accessible via the Long Hollow Pike, in the commuter’s triangle formed by the three ’villes of Henderson, Goodlett’s & Miller’s. Ryan is country as hell & has a killer treehouse/deerstand type thing at the edge of his backyard, which is on a steep incline leading up a heavily-wooded hill. He & Ceej told stories of huffing gasoline as we passed around bowl after bowl while perched up there.
Sunday, yesterday, was interesting. I woke up & sat around. No homework. Rold a shitty joint & took a drive to smoke it, came back & was gonna try to re-examine You Are Free’s lyrics to see if I’d missed something—but then Ceejay cald, and invited me over again.
When I got there it was dusk; he was by himself making burgers & fries in his parents’ kitchen. Within a minute of my arrival he’d told me what he had in mind: he’d gotten paid & wanted to get some cocaine. Ryan knows where to get it. He wanted me to try it—I was opposed at first, since all my previous impressions of the drug have been negative. (Requiem for a Dream, anyone?) However, Ceej is an excellent persuader & I have to admit I was curious. So we went & got Ryan and headed down to East Nashville, south of Shelby Street, with $80 looking for 2 grams. I had to wait in my car for an unbearable amount of time, as they go & sit in some dude’s van right on the street. Very shady. A car casually stops in front of me, passenger hands something to the driver of the van, then speeds off… Ceejay & Ryan finally return, sniffling, and we jet north.
Back in Echo Hollow it was dark. We went up to the treehouse, broke out some of the powder on a CD jewel case, and I puld my hair back & snorted 2 lines, one in each nostril, thru a rold-up piece of scrap paper (dollar bills are filthy). It sorta burns, but not really. The effects are a lot subtler than I expected. It’s more like a strong mood enhancer. You feel a warmth inside, your heart bumps along, your thoughts are quick & flowing. It has a unique taste to it, very bitter, almost like how paint smells. We went down to Jeremiah’s & shared with him—he seemed surprized that I partook. (He also provided us with a cut straw.) In turn, I was surprized to see Ceejay’s drums still set up in the bonus room. He sat down behind them to practice some fills. Jeremiah’s amplifier & electric guitar were set up too, but Jerry had already brung his acoustic guitar from inside & strapt it on, so without much forethought I pickt up his electric & we three started playing, as Ryan sat & smoked the last of Ceejay’s cigarettes.
I’d jammed with Jeremiah before but never with Ceej too, and for a moment I thought I’d fuckt up & betrayed Sean by joining the Neo-Fugitives—Then we moved outside & I felt better. There was this sense of urgency indoors that hamperd me. And I could play fast, but I was also numb.
Ryan left, and Ceej & I drove to buy cigarettes. Things just kept moving along! Jeremiah has discoverd Nick Drake & was learning to play “Pink Moon.” (This was my sister’s favorite musician. Interestingly I felt joy instead of unease at this fact.) We put the last bit of powder on a fat joint & passed it around. Pot helps the comedown considerably. I felt speedy the rest of the night anyway, dashing home & up the stairs & down again to Jackson’s to eat. When it came time for bed, I was ready & worn out.
Today in the morning I was extremely groggy, but it wore off by the time my lesson with Dr Filip rold around. Went out on my smoking route after classes, had a nice afternoon spent practicing & reading & sleeping. College life is nice oftentimes. Today is also Halloween, but I kept forgetting it all day. It’s no fun once you’re grown. Nevertheless, some black girls started egging people’s doors on the 1st & 2nd floors once it got dark; Sean & I watched from above. I even chuckt an empty peanut-butter jar out there before running inside.
So, 3 years ago tonight I smoked my first bowl; and yesterday I snorted my first line. I am proof that marijuana is a gateway drug. Or maybe it’s just the rock ’n’ roll lifestyle. Turns out Jordan tried powder this weekend too, on Friday nite with some girl at his house. Now he wants to try heroin, he says. Awful, awful idea. I have lost so much respect for him & it has slowly been replaced with dread. And I feel somehow responsible.
I hope I don’t see coke again for a while. Who knows tho.